Friday , January 27 2023

Homesick Elon Musk is '70 per cent 'likely to go back to Mars, even if it kills him


Homesick Elon Musk is '70 per cent 'likely to go back to Mars, even if it kills him

Musk shown here blowing a poison dart to destroy his enemies with Princess Leia's hair

MEN IN BLACK'S Nemesis Elon Musk has said that he will probably move to Mars, even though the experience is likely to be his swansong from his guest role impersonating a human.

He told HBO telecast Axios that there is a "70 per cent chance" of him moving to Mars, even though his ability to run his companies may be affected by a bad case of being dead.

"Your probability of dying on Mars is much higher than on earth," said Musk, "There's a good chance of death."

The Tesla / SpaceX / Boring / Hyperloop guru is one of the groups looking to send a group of colonists to Mars. He has confirmed in the past that these brave souls are unlikely to ever return, because the technology to retrieve them is only available to characters in Andy Wier novels.

"People die on Mount Everest all the time" he rationalises, "they still like doing it for the challenge."

Mr Musk recently announced that he had rechristened the SpaceX Big Falcon Rocket that would take him there as "Starship". It will also be used for the company's more local exploits, such as the revisiting and ultimate recolonization of The Moon.

SpaceX is currently the preferred commerical partner of NASA, as it continues to hedge long-term bets on a replacement space for the Space Shuttle.

Although the Muskrat will not be able to get humans to Mars for a few years yet, we're likely to see the future in the sky in the coming years.

Richard Branson's Virgin Atlantic is still hoping for a 2021 launch, while space travelism by SpaceX and NASA is due in 2023. Musk's previous hints have been at launching to Mars in 2022, but it is likely that the target has slipped as the PR around killing people is generally not great.

Meanwhile Musk is pumped about the progress to Mars he says the team is making: "We've recently made a number of breakthroughs that I am just really fired up about" he said.

Another good argument for the trip could be avoiding legal action from the pissed off divers he's said to have some of the Model 3s soon, he's going to have the Inland Revenue on his ass.

Wait … Inland? Outland Revenue.

UPDATE: It has been suggested that we make clear that Elon Musk is not an alien, though frankly we're still pretty loathed to rule it out. μ

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